Somewhere on the Other Side
by rockstarhobbit
Summary: Crazy Alphard Black. Crazy. Crazy. Was he truly crazy, or just a product of terrible circumstances? After all, growing up homosexual in the 1940s was the equivalent of hell on earth. Growing up homosexual in the Black family… well that was even worse.
1. Introduction

**SOMEWHERE ON THE OTHER SIDE.**

Summary: Crazy Alphard Black. Crazy. Crazy. Was he truly crazy, or just a product of terrible circumstances? After all, growing up homosexual in the 1940s was the equivalent of hell on earth. Growing up homosexual in the Black family… well that was even worse.

A/N: So it's been a while, but this idea took hold of me before the holidays and refused to let me go. This is going to be a bit different than your standard Harry Potter fanfiction, where there is little mention of the magical world (save for a few chapters here and there). Instead, it follows a minor character through a life he never thought he would live. Please bear with me.

Rating: PG-13

Trigger Warning: Character Death (sometimes violently), Torture, Child Abuse, and others may add in. Specific chapters will have trigger warnings before them.

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Prologue

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"_**Alphard Black. 1937-1977. Beloved by many."**_

He could still remember the epitaph on his headstone at his grave behind Black Manor. What a crock of shit. Well, maybe only part of it was a crock of shit. Alphard Black did die in the spring of 1977. He was born in the winter of 1937. And to be completely honest, he was rather popular among many in the Wizarding World. So if every singular part of his epitaph contained truths, why was it a "crock of shit?" In fact, while Alphard Black died in name, the man behind the name didn't die. In fact, he lived quite a few years beyond 1977.

2002 to be exact.

Alexander Barnes rested quietly in a small magical infirmary outside of Santa Fe, New Mexico. The 71-year old man was dying. It was a rather young age for a wizard, many others outliving him by decades. While a small part of him wanted to live longer and see more of the world, he lived a rather full life (all things considered). As he rested, his eyes moved slowly around the room. He knew that he didn't have much time remaining. While Augustine's was one of the top rated magical infirmaries (or hospitals as they called them in the States), even the magical world had no cure for his problem.

The muggles had a word for it: cancer. Such as simple word for such a horrible disease. Now that Al knew more about it, he realized that what his family called the "rot," was the same thing killing him now. Cancer. His body fought a losing battle against it. There was only so much that they could do to ease the pain. It started in his brain and soon traveled through the rest of his body. The doctors told him that they could prolong his life for a few years with different treatments. Al wanted none of it. He had enough of their "treatments" as a young adult to last him a lifetime. Besides, there wasn't much left to fight for. Andrea would eventually have to forgive him. She was the only reason that he held onto his decrepit body for so long.

Turning to look at the chair beside his bed, he could see his best friend asleep with her head against the wall, using her sweater as a makeshift pillow. She was still as beautiful as ever. Her dark brown hair was pulled back in a sloppy pony tail. There were wrinkles around her eyes from laughing and smiling too much in her youth. She aged well. Andy was his saving grace in life. There were so many instances where the woman saved his life that he would never be able to properly repay her. While Al wanted to reach out and push a stray strand of hair behind her ear, he no longer had the energy.

"It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

It wasn't uncommon for Al to hear Matty's voice. He was one of the many voices that lived inside of his head. He had been there the longest, and still held a light and jovial tone of the seventeen year old boy it once belonged to. Very slowly, Al turned to look towards the direction of the voice. Once again, he wasn't all surprised to see his first love standing next to his bed. His bright brown eyes seemed to sparkle in the light, his short brown hair gelled back. "Matty?" he whispered, lacking the energy to reach out and try to touch him.

"Hey, Alphie," the boy smiled, taking a step closer and resting his hand on Al's. Over the past few days, many people came to visit Al in the hospital. Some of them were real, some of them visions in his head. They weren't kidding when they called him "Crazy Alphard Black" at home. He heard voices that no one else could hear. However, it was only over the past few days that the visions started re-appearing.

Al was shocked to feel warmth coming from Matty's hand on top of his own. He looked down before looking back up at him. "Matty…" he repeated quietly.

The boy laughed and nodded. "Yes, it's really me, Al." Warmth radiated through Al's cold body, quelling the fear and pain wreaking havoc on his body. "I've missed you."

The tears began to well up in his eyes and Matty easily reached out and wiped them away. Alphard always knew that he was crazy, but this was taking it to a completely new level. He had always heard voices, ever since his father sent him in to Mungo's to be "treated" for his problem. There were moments when he would see familiar figures from the corner of his eye. The past few days, he found himself having conversations with the voices in his head and watching them materialize in front of him. Now, he could honestly feel his first boyfriend's gentle touch.

"I've missed you too," Al choked out.

"No need to cry, Alphard," Matty cooed quietly. "Why are you crying?"

Alphard wasn't quite sure how to answer that question. Why was he crying? Perhaps it was all his emotions finally reaching a tipping point. Perhaps it was the sight of Matty in front of him again. Sure, Liam and Aiden had come in the past few days, but this was the first time he saw his Matty since the day he was killed. He looked so good. "It's you."

Matty laughed again, the sound like music to Alphard's ears. The boy reached out and carded his hand through Alphard's thinning hair. "I know, sweetheart. It's a bit of a shock, I'd imagine."

Al couldn't get over how he fell back into Matty's touch. He nuzzled his head into his love's hand, causing Matty to smile. "Are you here to… you know… take me?"

Once again, Matty's melodic laugh filled the room. Al quickly turned to look at Andy, who remained fast asleep as the boy spoke. "That's up to you, my love. I'm here until you're ready to go. It could be today, it could be years from today. I'm here to make it easier for you." He reached out to brush more tears away from Al's cheeks.

"Come here…" Al whispered. The man used all the strength that he had left to move over a bit in the bed, making room for Matty to crawl in next to him. Despite all the years that passed, the young boy still fit in his arms like they were seventeen and hiding in their "Secret Room." Matty snuggled close and Al was content to hold him. He could almost smell the fresh scent of Matty's cologne mingling with his shampoo. It was a calming scent.

"Alphie?" Matty asked after a few long minutes of peaceful silence.

"Yeah, Matty?" Al exhaled.

"I love you."

Al's heart melted at the words as he placed one final kiss on top of Matty's head. "I love you too, sweetheart. I love you too." Things lapsed into silence again after that. Al's eyelids soon became heavy (like they did so often any more) and he took one last glance at his best friend before allowing his eyes to close.

The man easily drifted off into one last peaceful sleep.

"_**Alexander Barnes. 1932-2002. Friend to all."**_

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A/n: So that's just the introduction. Lemme know if you guys are interested in having me continue. There were a lot of things left unexplained that I would love to write out! I don't know if I want this to go in chronological order, or have it be little snippets of his life (with explanation of where they place in his timeline). Feedback is greatly appreciated.

Should people be interested, the next chapter will be explaining "Matty" a bit more.

Thanks for reading!


	2. Matty: Part I

**SOMEWHERE ON THE OTHER SIDE.**

Summary: Crazy Alphard Black. Crazy. Crazy. Was he truly crazy, or just a product of terrible circumstances? After all, growing up homosexual in the 1940s was the equivalent of hell on earth. Growing up homosexual in the Black family… well that was even worse.

A/N: So I'm gonna start this as a series of small chapters split into sections based on the person. So this is part 1 of 3. Once again, this is going to start with the aftermath and then delve into the story leading up to that moment.

Rating: M (upped the rating due to… reasons)

Trigger Warning: Torture

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Matty: Part I

* * *

"_Say something, I'm giving up on you.  
__I'll be the one if you want me to.  
__Anywhere I would have followed you.  
__Say something, I'm giving up on you."_

-"Say Something" by A Great Big World

Alphard was terrified as he waited in the small room at St. Mungos. This had to be for the better, right? His father was trying to save him. That was the only reason why he would subject his son to this sort of therapy. They tried everything to cure him. His father set him up on dates with girls (none of which went well). After those failed attempts, Pollux decided that his son needed professional help. Alphard saw a therapist twice a week in attempt to cure him. They tried talking out the problem (there were many instances of the man telling him just how wrong he was for loving another man). They tried aversion therapy where they would give Alphard special potions to make him physically ill, then show him pictures of homosexual pornography. It almost worked, but it was more than merely a sexual attraction to other men, it was a general attraction. He preferred men over women in every possible way.

This was the last straw.

There was no turning back. Should he refuse this final therapy, his father would most definitely blast him off the family tree. That was something that Al most definitely didn't want.

The healer walked in and Al's heart rate skyrocketed. "No reason to be scared, Mr. Black. You're in good hands," the man smiled. The smile caused his stomach to twist sickeningly. Al felt as though he was going to be sick as the nurse took his vitals.

Suddenly, a gentle hand found its way to his shoulder. A terrified eighteen year old Alphard looked at the nurse. Her smile quelled his fear for a few moments. "It's going to be okay, sweetheart," she smiled, squeezing his shoulder. "You're going to be perfectly fine when we're done."

How fine would he be? While part of Alphard hated himself for being gay, another part of him didn't want to change. He liked boys. Boys made him happy. Well, a boy made him happy. Even just thinking of Matty made his heart soar despite the terrible circumstances surrounding that memory. His pulse slowed to a more normal rate. The woman smiled at him again before helping him over to the bed in the middle of the room.

The healer helped get Al situated on the bed before a binding spell secured him to the bed. More panic ran through him as he started to struggle against them. "Hold still, Mr. Black," the healer warned, a harsh tone to his voice. "If you keep moving, there's nothing we can do to cure you and you'll be an abomination for the rest of your life." The healer's words brought tears to Alphard's eyes as he attempted to still himself and absorb the fear.

He didn't want to be an abomination. He didn't want to be a disappointment, a dark mark on the prestigious Black family tree. He swallowed harshly despite the nurse's gentle touch running up and down his arm in a failed attempt to calm him. Fear ran through him, turning his blood cold as the healer held a potion up to his mouth.

Al didn't want to go through with this, but he didn't have a choice. He bleakly stared at the healer who was clearly losing patience with Alphard. "You signed the paperwork, Mr. Black. Now open your mouth and take the potion."

Yes, he signed the paperwork, sealing his fate. He agreed to be strapped to the table. He agreed to taking a potion that would leave him unconscious for hours. Finally, he agreed to allow them to send electric shocks through his brain in an attempt to fix a problem that Alphard feared could not be properly fixed.

The teenager licked his dry lips before nodding, opening his mouth and allowing the healer to pour the foul-tasting potion into his mouth which he quickly swallowed. It took a few seconds, but he found himself feeling extremely drowsy. The last thing he remembered was a wooden gag forcing its way between his teeth before darkness took over him.

* * *

"I don't need help in Charms," sixteen year old Alphard whined to Malaway, the Charms professor. "I can do better, I know it." Yes, he was in NEWT level Charms, but he struggled. His wand fought against him with more advanced magic. It wasn't for not trying; it was more because of his wand.

Malaway stared at the young man. "I'm giving you a tutor, Alphard. Just a few sessions, that's all. No one will know except us. I know that you have a lot of weight on your shoulders and I wouldn't want to add more with the bullying that would come with needing tutoring, especially someone of your standing."

Alphard let out a sigh, knowing that fighting against the professor would do him no good. Biting down on the corner of his lip, he nodded. "Okay. When should I…"

The professor cut him off. "You will come to the spare classroom on the fifth floor. Your tutor will meet you there three times a week."

Al gasped. "But what about Quidditch, we have a huge match coming up against Gryffindor and I need—"

Once again, Malaway cut him off. "I assure you that you will not miss your practices," he laughed. Malaway was the head of Gryffindor house and for a brief moment, Al was scared that the man was attempting to sabotage Slytherin's chances at winning the Cup this year. "I want your team in tip-top shape when Gryffindor beats you."

That actually got a smile to spread across Alphard's features. For a Gryffindor, Malaway wasn't that bad. He was still bad, but not as bad as many of the students in the house. "Your education is very important, Alphard. I know that you are a Black and that you have a lot going for you, but I want you to succeed. That means graduating with top marks, understood?"

Al nodded and took a step away from the professor's desk. "Tonight, after dinner. Fifth floor. Your tutor will be waiting for you."

"Yes, Sir," Alphard stated slowly before turning and rushing off to his next class.

The Slytherin fidgeted through his next two classes and dinner. It would probably be an older student tutoring him. Maybe Andrea's older brother Arnold would tutor him. He was Head Boy, after all, and he was a Ravenclaw. Ravenclaws were super intelligent. Dinner finished and Al grabbed his bag, working his way up the staircases to get to the spare classroom on the fifth floor.

As he entered, he was surprised to see that no one was present. Maybe the tutor wouldn't show up. That would be great. He could go to the pitch and fly around for a while to clear his mind. Five minutes passed. Ten minutes passed. Al was getting ready to pack up when the tutor finally arrived. "Sorry I'm late," the boy stated, panting from running. The Slytherin looked up and couldn't help but make a face at the boy standing in front of him. It was the annoying Hufflepuff that sat in the front row of his class. It wasn't Arnold, it wasn't someone that Alphard saw as his equal or better.

Hell, he didn't even know the kid's name. All he knew was that he was that stupidly smart muggleborn Hufflepuff that sat in the front of the class and made everyone else in the class look stupid. "Don't make that face, Alphard. You needed help and I offered my services," the boy stated bluntly, moving to sit next to Al. Al immediately moved his chair away from him. "What? Do I smell?" The boy let out a laugh, trying to play off the tension thick in the air.

"How do you know my name?" Al finally managed, still looking at the boy.

The boy rolled his eyes. "You're a Black and you're in a few of my classes, of course I know your name." Well, at least the boy knew that Alphard was one of his betters. He stared at Al for a few moments. "I bet you don't even know my name, do you?" Al wanted to curse the idiotic smile off his stupid face. It was clear that the Hufflepuff was getting some sort of sick enjoyment out of this torment. When Al didn't respond, he laughed and held out his hand. "Matthew Blake."

Al didn't shake his hand. Matthew held it out for a few moments before putting it down. "No pleasantries. Got it." The boy still managed to smile despite Alphard's cold welcoming. "Now come on, let's get to work.

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A/N: There's the first chapter. Let me know if you'd prefer a few chapters of this length or if you would prefer less longer chapters that cover more encounters.

I look forward to hearing from you! Reviews keep the muse happy (just saying!)


	3. Matty: Part II

**SOMEWHERE ON THE OTHER SIDE.**

Summary: Crazy Alphard Black. Crazy. Crazy. Was he truly crazy, or just a product of terrible circumstances? After all, growing up homosexual in the 1940s was the equivalent of hell on earth. Growing up homosexual in the Black family… well that was even worse.

A/N: Yay! People seem interested, so I'm going to keep going with several "shorter" chapters.

Rating: M

Trigger Warning: Obnoxious Fluff, PG-13 smut

Disclaimer: So I don't own the universe. The idea for Al stemmed from several places, mostly the musicals "Next to Normal" and "Bare," and the play "The Pride."

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Matty: Part II

* * *

"_A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same."_

-Elbert Hubbard

* * *

An odd sort of friendship blossomed between Matthew and Alphard. The first few tutoring sessions were painfully tense, since Alphard still truly believed that the mudblood was below him. Bit by bit, Matthew chipped away at the walls Al built around him to keep people out. By their third week of sessions, the two were friends. They weren't the best of friends, but they got along. Alphard found Matthew intellectually stimulating (not that Al saw himself as intelligent, but sometimes talking to his relatives was worse than talking to a wall) and funny. He could only hope that Matthew saw the same things in him.

"So you're friends then," Andrea laughed, poking Al as they leaned against each other by the fireplace in the Slytherin common room.

"Not so loud," Alphard hissed.

"So you're friends then," the girl whispered, trying to hold back a laugh.

Al rolled his eyes and nodded. "Yeah, I guess you could say that." He ran a hand through his dirty blond hair, the follicles still slightly damp from the shower he recently took.

"Details!" Andy giggled. Sometimes being best friends with a girl had its downsides. Andrea Greengrass was a great person and one of the few people that Alphard felt safe around. She earned his trust after staying up all night with him in the third floor girl's bathroom when some of the older Gryffindors hit twelve year old Al with a nasty jinx. They were inseparable after that moment.

Sighing, Al sat up and turned to look at her. "There isn't much to say, Andy. We're just friends, that's all." While it was getting rather late, Alphard wasn't ready to let all his walls down. A few students still milled about and any of them could overhear the conversation.

"Well, I think that he's brilliant," Andy stated boldly. "If it weren't for his blood, he would be the perfect husband. He's attractive, smart, kind and have you seen him on the Quidditch pitch?" With that, Andrea fainted playfully into Al's lap, causing the boy to laugh.

"And what am I, mincemeat?" Al teased, pouting down at her. From the outside, everyone was convinced that Alphard and Andrea were a couple. Neither of them bothered to correct the people that believed that. While Andrea might have liked Al, the boy was oblivious to her romantic feelings. To be honest, he felt nothing but strong friendship towards the beautiful girl. She was his best friend and confidant. He told her things that he couldn't trust anyone else with.

Andy rolled her eyes and gently shoved him. "No," she stated, looking away. "You're still going to be my future husband whether you like it or not." Al knew that she was teasing him. She was the only one that knew about his crush on Romulus Lestrange. He told her that in confidence midway through fourth year and while those feelings soon dissipated (because Romulus Lestrange was a horrible person), his secret never leaked.

After a few moments, Al adjusted so that he held Andrea in his arms. His friend put her hands on top of his and the two sat in the common room until everyone else left. By that point, the two of them were drifting in and out of sleep. Their friendship was odd, but Al wouldn't exchange it for anything. His aunts often spoke of soul mates, and deep down, Al believed that Andrea Greengrass was his soul mate, but in a platonic way, rather than a romantic way. The idea that someone knew you so intimately and wanted to be with you… well, that amazed Alphard. Most people would have cringed at the idea of him having romantic (and sexual) feelings towards a man, but Andy stared at him for a few moments before letting out a laugh and agreeing that she found him 'rather pleasing to the eye.'

Andrea Greengrass was his soul mate.

Nothing would tear them apart.

* * *

The next evening, Alphard met Matthew in the spare classroom. Matthew sat next to Alphard instead of across from him (as had become customary after their terse first interaction). The Slytherin shifted awkwardly, unable to look him in the eye.

"You okay, Alphard?" Matthew asked slowly.

Al nodded and looked up at him, Andrea's words swirling in his head from the previous night.

"_He would be the perfect husband. He's attractive…"_

For the first time, Al took a few moments to study Matthew Blake's face. He wasn't disgustingly pale like some of his relatives. In fact, his skin had a soft glow to it, probably the goodness in his heart leeching out of him. His dark brown hair was relatively short, but long enough that Al could imagine his fingers getting tangled in it. He had a few tiny moles that he never noticed before. They weren't ugly or overbearing, but they seemed to make him even more attractive. His eyes followed the curve of his jawline to his lips. He couldn't stop himself from the overwhelming desire to kiss them, just to see what it would feel like. Working his way up, he followed his nose up to his eyes. That was where Al got lost. They were a creamy hazel color that seemed to have a jovial glint in them (although right now he looked rather concerned).

"Alphard?"

His voice brought Al out of his daze. Before he could stop himself, he found himself speaking. "You can call me Al." The words caught him off guard. The only people that called him Al were Andy and a few of his relatives. He was always Alphard or Mr. Black. Al was reserved for people that he considered his friends.

The corner of Matthew's lips curled up in a smile as he let out a laugh. All tension fell from Alphard's body at the sound of his laugh and the glimpse of his beautiful smile. "Well, Al… you can call me Matt."

Al grinned at the other boy and held out his hand. Matt looked rather confused. Al realized that he hadn't said the words on his mind. "Let's start over. Day one. I'm Al."

Matt's smile grew even larger as he took Al's hand and shook it firmly. A jolt shot through Alphard, butterflies growing in his stomach at the touch. "Matt. Nice to meet you, Al." The two shared a laugh, Al trying to not blush or make it obvious that he was having less-than-acceptable thoughts about the boy sitting next to him.

* * *

Matt pinned Alphard to the wall of the classroom, his hands roaming over Al's body, quickly tossing his robe to the ground. Al pushed Matt's off as well as their lips crashed together in a searing kiss. Al wasn't quite sure what he was doing, having never been kissed like this before, but Matt didn't seem to care about Al's obvious inexperience as he started to unbutton Al's shirt. Al let out a small gasp as Matt's fingertips came in contact with the skin of his belly, sending electric through him.

The Hufflepuff kissed down his neck towards his collar bones, seeming to search for something as he slowly undid those pesky buttons. His lips pressed against his skin sent more electric heat through him as he let out a small moan. Matt laughed against his skin before marking him at that spot, causing Al to cry out in shock and pleasure.

Before Al knew that was going on, Matt lifted him easily off the ground and sat him down on a desk. He worked his way between Al's legs, tearing the rest of the buttons out as he kissed Al. This was overwhelming to the Slytherin, but he wasn't complaining as Matt worked his body in ways that Al didn't know they could be worked. Al's fingers struggled to unbutton his shirt, but Matt grabbed his hands to steady them, breaking away from the passionate kisses in order to help unbutton his shirt. The pair continued panting as Matt removed his shirt.

Once again, Al caught himself staring at his body. Matthew had an amazing physique. Al's hands slowly moved down along the lines on his stomach. It was clear that the Hufflepuff took good care of himself, and that only worked to turn Al on even more. It was only at that moment that Al realized the problem downstairs. He moved his hands to try and cover the bulge in his pants from his erection. Looking away, he clearly was embarrassed until Matt gently placed his hands on top of Al's and let out a small laugh. Taking one of Al's hands, the other boy moved it few inches to touch his crotch (where his pants were straining with an erection as well).

Al blushed as he looked up at Matt. This all felt so right. He wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close for another kiss, moaning quietly into it. Matt's hands moved south and started to undo the buckle of Al's belt. Another flutter made its way through Alphard. This was all moving so fast, but Al wasn't going to stop something that felt so right.

* * *

It never failed that as soon as things started getting good in his dreams, he would wake up with a tent in his pajamas. It had been two months since he first met Matt, and one and a half since they re-introduced each other and started down the path of friendship. Andrea was right about the boy, he really was perfect. He was attractive, smart, funny… perfect. Of course, the details of his severe crush on the muggleborn boy remained between him and Andy. Al tried to keep his cool around his new friend, but as soon as he closed his eyes to sleep, he would dream about him. Sometimes it was something simple, like tutoring sessions, or working with each other to improve on the Quidditch pitch. Other times, things got heated fast.

Alas, it was all in his dreams. Someone as wonderful as Matthew Blake was not a disgusting abomination like Alphard was. Al could dream of the boy returning his feelings, but deep down he knew that he was setting himself up for heartbreak. He had yet to meet another person that shared his feelings. After all, it was unnatural for a man to be attracted to another man. Al was a freak. That was the only explanation.

One day, the pair sat on the edge of the lake after throwing around the Quaffle on the Quidditch Pitch. They spoke of their upcoming exams and what their plans were for the Christmas holidays. Al admitted that he wasn't looking forward to going home. He would find himself stuffed into dress robes and paraded around like the perfect little heir. Matthew genuinely felt bad for the other boy, obviously talking down the fun muggle holiday traditions that he shared with his family.

As the sun started to set, Al watched the colors of the setting sun. "It's like a painting," Matt mused. Al turned to look at him, easily distracted by the man's beauty in the setting sunlight. If possible, the lighting made him look even more attractive. To try and stop 'those' feelings from bubbling up inside of him, he bit down hard on the inside of his cheek, hoping that the pain would keep them away.

Matt turned to look at Al and flashed him a concerned look. "Are you okay, Al?"

Afraid to speak, Al merely nodded. Matt reached out and ran a gentle hand along his cheek, the same cheek that Al was biting down on. His touch sent sparks through him, but this wasn't an accidental touch like when they reached for the same page of a book and their fingers brushed. No. This was a deliberate touch. At this point, Al was certain this was another dream. It would soon turn into them ripping each other's clothing off.

That moment never came as Matt stared into Al's eyes. To be honest, Al didn't even notice their faces inching closer and closer until they were centimeters apart. Matt let out a quiet sigh before taking Al's face in his hand again and kissing him gently.

* * *

A/N: Until next time, thanks for reading!


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